"Evens" Book Extract #5

[One of a series of extracts from Leon Blackwell’s bestselling autobiography "Evens". The diary of Old Lynn’s most revered psychopath.]

Page 365

My bad deeds have made the national newspapers, with various snippets in the finest tabloids and a lengthy, misinformed article in OK Magazine. Well. I say "article", but the magazine piece was mostly just a collection of photographs that showed the plush, middleclass interior of a mansion owned by one of my latest known victims. The photos were accompanied by a paragraph or two of commentary by Jodie Marsh, saying why she fears she’s next on my hitlist. The mind boggles, it really does.

The self-consciousness of being discussed by absurd people you have no respect for is a beguiling death. Without a word, they try to inflict their pitiful world-views on everyone who’ll listen, but its always inadequate – they wear their empty souls on their dirty sleeves for all to observe. Why, for God's sake?

Commuting home on the bus after being taunted in the High Street by yet another deadhead chav, I couldn’t help but wonder what it would have been like to have punctured his larynx there and then. To open up this idiot’s throat and push my hand in the tight hole while he was still conscious. To see his warm breath piping through the gaping hole in his neck, creating a gentle mist effect as it hits the cold winter air.

Every day of the week I read about have-a-go heroes getting maimed and murdered by these mummy-boy morons. Heroes who were Good Men, often with families, who try to rise up against these evil and idiotic slackjaws who skulk and stalk our streets on a nightly basis. Good Men who stood up for their fellow man, to say "No. I’ve had enough of your bullying and intimidation. It stops here." But it doesn’t.

Nothing at all can be done, it seems, to rid our country of this kind of cretinous creation. May God have mercy on us.

I must try to do something. The Law Courts are worse than useless (actually participatory in the worst cases, I fear). This liberal Government is politics-by-numbers at ludicrous best.

No. Something new must be done. And, as I myself have killed already, I see it as my role to rip out the wretched innards from the fat torsos of society’s pondlife. There is MUCH work to be done…

I will rise up with my thinning hair and eat scum like air.

Something like that.

Leon Blackwell

"Evens" is available from all good bookshops now.
ISBN 1010 2020 1010 0102
£6.99 paperback.