Getting to know Old Lynn

'Getting to know Old Lynn'

For all you fresh-faced blog visitors out there who are not familiar with our beautiful town…

Old Lynn, a former fishing community now bustling with life and commerce, is home to many curious landmarks and quirky tourist focal points. Some are very old marks on the map indeed (the infamous, inaccessible Devils Alley possibly dating right back to the time of the Crusades), some very new (the Scientology Monastery is just three years old).

Whatever you think of our charming old community, we certainly have attractions that cater to the interests of the whole family...


Swaffham Cageworks

Swaffham has been almost completely caged off and in a secured state for virtually a year now, with no reported detriment to its citizens. Why not take little Timmy for a walk along the high perimeter wall and peer through the majestic silver Cage Dome network at the fully-functional town inside, while sampling some of the finest Italian ice creams from one of the popular wall-top vendors.

The Lilith Plantation

The Lilith Plantation, a dense woodland to the north of Swaffham Cageworks, is steeped in local folklore. First mentioned by the nascent Viking settlement way back when, the woods have garnered some small notoriety with its lurid ‘Hate Bodies’ ghost stories and tales of missing local women. In 1953 it became a largely fenced-off, male-only access land. Though some female ramblers still insist on flouting the rules at their peril, only 0.6% of the local populous are currently filed as missing after entering the Lilith Woods.

Why not have a memorable picnic with your partner amongst the mighty Horse Chestnut trees on the nearby Hangman's Hill, overlooking the entire estate (which is, in fact, sponsored by the mighty Burger Royal takeaway chain). Marvel in astonishment at the world-renowned ‘jumping will-o-wisps’ that are commonplace here, in this most picturesque and lightly policed Quiet Zone.

Silo Fields

A truly national treasure. I have touched upon the formation of the vast Silo Fields before, but it is worth pointing out that the sheer size of these behemoth vats and food silos still have the power to take your breath away. Purchase a map at the visitors’ entrance area (together with your free dustmask) and off you go! Trundle on down the main Lohan Market Street and purchase colourful items from the very best selection of ethnic fashionware in all of Eastern England. If, by the end of the day, you’ve had enough of your children’s inane chatter, why not box them in at the Silly Sammy Methadone Show. Just off Mandela Path, this colourful show features the best conjurors and saddest clowns in the area. Add the Eamonn Holmes memorial statue in Green Park to your itinerary and you have the perfect day out.

For further information regarding these and other popular tourist attractions such as The Electricity Farm, The South-West Incinerator, The Northern Area Scientology Monastery, Marina II, and much more, why not buy the latest copy of Quicklime News, hitting the newsstands…ooh…right about now.


Polly Blank
[Quicklime Offices]
January 2012